I can count on one hand the number of times Zoe has been without my husband and me.
When she was two months, I left her with my mother-in-law for an hour because I had to take the cat to the vet to get ready for our cross-country flight. Zubair was already in California. She was very young so she probably didn’t even know I was gone. It was the longest hour of my life.
The first date didn’t go so well
The first time we tried to go on a date we were in NY at my parents’ house. We left Zoe, eight months, with my mom, dad, and my brother. They couldn’t get to her stop crying so they called us after about 30 minutes. We got our dinner to go and rushed to their house. Since she’s not as familiar with them, she just wanted her mommy and daddy.
Checking my phone like a crazy woman
At ten months, Zoe is a little more independent. So, a couple weeks ago, we decided it was time to try leaving Zoe alone with our babysitter. She’s known her for several months now. And plays with her in the other room all the time when I’m on the phone.
We want to a fancy restaurant I wanted to try, and Zoe was fine for the whole two hours.
I was kind of a nervous wreck though. Not too obnoxious – but I left my phone on the table because I kept checking it very often to see if I missed a call from the babysitter.
Recently, we left her in the nursery at church for less than an hour while we listened to the pastor speak. I kind of regret that one because she looked upset when I went to pick her up. My heart hurt.
This past Friday night, we went out again. And while I did keep the phone on the table, I was definitely more relaxed than before. We enjoyed our lovely dinner at a cute french bistro in Downtown Culver City. Zoe was asleep when we got home. The babysitter reported that she hardly cried.
So there you go – she’s been away from both of us only four times (or five, if you count church). I’m sure some people think I’m crazy. But I just don’t like being away from her. I feel incomplete. Little did I know, there’s actually a term for this. It’s called Attachment Parenting. I’ll share my thoughts on this style of parenting later this week.
All in all, my husband and I make time for each other. We don’t need to leave the house to create romance or to communicate. Date night is important, but, in my opinion, the needs of our infant are more important than date night.
Don’t get me wrong, date night is fun. And I’m not saying that marriage comes second to children. But what I am saying is that as long as you focus on your relationship with your spouse, it doesn’t have to be out of the house or without baby tagging along. It just takes a little more creativity!
So I say – take time for your marriage, but don’t stress about date night!
Whether you agree or disagree, share your opinion in the comments section below!