The secret to great communication with your spouse…

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The secret is…you actually have to talk to each other!  I know, I know.  It’s shocking.

While dating, Zubair and I used to break up a lot.  One day, everything would be fine; but, then one of us would do something to annoy the other.  Instead of talking about it and working it out, we would just break up.

The first summer we dated

I am so guilty of this in my dating life.  I would let the smallest things bother me.  I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, so I buried it.  The frustration just built up and became something much bigger than it really had to be.

You know when you find yourself getting annoyed at all the little things?  Well, it’s usually because one small thing started it; and then you let it fester.  Next thing you know, everything annoys you.  It’s like the snowball effect.  Not fun.  Because there’s usually a big blow up.  You can’t hold it in forever.  And if you try, it could effect you physically, spiritually, mentality – pretty much in every way possible.

So – you have to TALK about it!

And don’t expect that your spouse will read your mind.  Sometimes as women, we think it’s romantic if our husbands know every little detail that we’re thinking.  But that’s impossible and unfair.  Men don’t have magical powers.  If you want something specific, and it’s important to you – ask for it.  No guessing games.  Plain and simple.

Making the time

You’re both busy working, taking care of the kids, and the house.  Who has the time?

Make the time, and not on date night.  That should be fun.  And not right before bed (guilty), because then you can’t sleep.  So when?

Perhaps while you’re both making dinner together.  Or right after the kids go to sleep before it gets too late.  Set a time and stick to it.

Our favorite time is actually while Zoe is falling asleep.  We both go in to put her to bed, and while she’s settling down – we chat.  Kills two birds with one stone.  Perfect.

If it’s on my mind, and I can’t let it go – I bring it up.  I tell him how I feel.  Even if it’s not his fault or something he can change.  I just have to talk about it; and since he’s my best friend, he is the lucky winner.

It’s ironic how it seems so simple, yet it’s usually a major issue with couples.  It’s so important.  If you’re both committed to making things work, and talking about things – then you can accomplish anything.

Tell us about your tips to great communication with your spouse in the comments section below!

One Comment

  1. I got a kick out of your entry, “The secret is..you actually have to talk to each other, I know, I know shocking.” Lol. Such a simple truth that seems to fall by the wayside in marriages, but always a good reminder. Also, I love that you called zubair your best friend:) love to hear that, Andy is def. mine and i am so thankful.

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