Lately, while thinking about the arrival of our second child, I’ve been longing to be just a mom, and put my career on hold.
This is not the first time I’ve felt this way. Sometimes I get angry at having to pay someone else to play with my child, when I want to be the one to play with her. Plus, I am frustrated with being distracted by either motherhood or my work. It seems like it’s always a juggle between the two – and it’s tiring.
But then I wonder, if I quit my job – would I miss it? Would I regret my decision? Would I be bored? Is it true what they say that the grass is always greener on the other side?
When I’m on vacation, I definitely have enough to keep myself busy. And I am content. There’s always something to clean or laundry to do in between entertaining Zoe. Would I eventually run out of stuff to do? Would I miss contributing to society at large? Am I cut out to be a stay-at-home mom?
Part of me feels that since I paid so much for an education, that I need to use it. And right now, finances (gotta pay back those student loans) won’t permit me to leave the workforce. Hopefully someday I can take a break for a short while the kids are still young. And in the meantime, I’ll try not to dream too much of greener pastures.